sweet mystery of youth

just look at this face - do you know her?  i'm trying to see if i ever did, it seems so long ago.  this photograph came floating back to me, out of the blue, via email yesterday from one of my art and soul students.  i met cece on the elevator going down to the workshop, heard her southern accent, picked up on the fact that it was deep south (i'm from alabama, she's from tennessee), and when she volunteered that she went to auburn university, we put two and two together and realized that we had lived right across the hall from each other for perhaps a year - maybe less - in a very small, old apartment complex.  she swore she still had a photograph or two from those days, and said she could blackmail me with them.  and look at this child!  i'm probably twenty here - and yes, those are flowers in my hair, laced through my dark raven curls for a party.  just a regular beer party, nothing fancy.  i was like that back then - shoot, i'm like that now - and was known to glue seashells to hairpins and wear those in my hair as well.  i look deep into the eyes of this young girl and feel a deep, unexplainable something in my heart.  where has she gone?  is she still here?  i still have the carved ivory tulip-bead necklace that my grandmother mimi strung and gave to me, and wish i had that little mexican muslin top that would fit in so well again with today's "bohemian" styles.  my curls are still here, and so is the smile.  but my god, i'm thirty.years.older.  i have two boys this age!  i'm sitting here shaking my head, gazing into that face, into those eyes.  it's like looking at an entity from another life, through gauze, at dusk, before the candles are lit.  i remember a scene from annie hall, (one of my all-time favorite movies, and one that came out right around the time this photo was taken).  she is standing at a party, looking at herself as a younger woman.  "i think she looks sort of pretty", she says.  pretty, innocent, and young.  the world was before me, beckoning.  and i just threw back my head and laughed.  and laughed, and laughed.  and laced more flowers and seashells in my hair, dabbed patchouli on my wrists and at my tender throat.  she's still here, that girl.  she's just a little wiser, hopefully, and a bit more leery of the world than she was before.  but she's still smiling, and wearing her sandlewood and her jewelry.

Comments

[edssak]

Don't you just savor these moments,when you and someone just clicked like you and your friend from Auburn.

Beautiful then and beautiful now. The years have treated you very well dear Nina.

[Lelainia]

That's cool Nina that she found that photo of you! I had a cat when I was little called patchouli. First and only cat I ever had-I am really allergic and no long a fan of cats.

It's funny to think of you twenty-something and dressed all hippy like and free. That Nina has morphed into poet-soul Nina. I like Nina with some hstory to her. It makes for a woman of depth and value, a woman to learn from and admire. We should all be so lucky!

(and you are BEAUTIFUL 30 years later!)

[Ro Bruhn]

You haven't changed a bit Nina and after all those years you still have the same smile, life must have treated you well. I hadn't realized before what a lovely heart shaped face you have, very appropriate.
Ro
xo

[Steph]

I have been reading your blog and .. yes you truly are a beautiful person inside and outside... Thank you!

[Lesley Riley]

At first glance I thought it was a current photo. Perhaps because I know and still see that girl in you. Older, wiser, but still beautiful.

[misty]

beautiful then, beautiful still.
that is such a sweet photo. xo

[JUDY WILKENFELD]

Great photo.
Great post.
Thank goodness this photo came after your computer crashed.
Now, go and back up your computer!!!

[Jacky McFarlane]

oh gosh I relate to those thoughts in the same way when I look at photo's of myself when I was young, who is that girl was it really me. Life moves so fast when you have children and it is so hard to hold on to you, especially when you put everyone else first. I often think I would like to go back to that time with my youthful body but with what I know now, guess I wouldnt get to where I am now, does that make sense!!!!
Love you dear friend
Jacky

[kim]

beautiful then and still beautiful now....xoxox~kim

[Isabel]

What a treasure your blog is...your soul comes through your pictures, your art, your words.
There's a certain soothing quality in this blog of yours which will make me return again and again.Thank you!

[Linda O'Neill]

You're more lovely now than you were then, Nina. I think with age...comes greater beauty and luminous spirit.xo

[Evelyn]

That photo is the Nina I saw when you were with us in Freo, you may be older but the soul is still the same. You haven't changed, I truly think you are ageless. Age is more a matter of the mind. I had an aunt, she went to dancing 5 times a week and was in a pensioners club, at the age of 75 she often referred to newer pensioners (55+) as "old dears" despite the fact that in years they were 20 years her junior. Her vision of life and her soul stayed in her early 30's till she died.

[Sue]

Nina, You have such a beautiful soul.......and the years cannot touch that! You still look amazing too.

What a lovely post :-)

x

[Tammy]

i see her, nina, and still as lovely. what a fun treasure to have received...

[Chandra]

TOO TOO PRECIOUS!!! Thanks for sharing!

[Miz Carla]

How awesome! What are the odds?Look how precious (and innocent hehee) you look. You should be proud girl--I don't think I resemble myself at 20 years old AT ALL!

Is this Cece you speak of Cece Grimes? If so I had looked for her the entire time at Art and Soul and couldn't find her.

xoxs

[alex shur]

This post is perfect. I've been caught in sticky reminiscence lately, and so, once again, your timing makes my heart smile.

Where is that lovely girl? She has become a very generous and beautiful woman.

[gina armfield]

I think your are more beautiful now I think it is wisdom that makes us more beautiful xo gina

[Mrs G]

I love those Life Clicks like yours with your old schoolmate...well, most of the time, LOL :) ...

What a light in your eyes in that old photo...and it is still there, just a little wiser :) , a little more direct...Direct counts for a lot...

and those wonderful stars dancing in your hair...I hope you re-visit that idea one of these warm summer evenings :)

you know, "young" is relative and age is just a number, I guess, like a lot of people say...but "young" is also a State Unto Itself :) Sometimes, it is hard re-visit Young...it is like having to switch lenses! and change the tripod height...and then pick up the tripod up and move to a different place, LOL :)

When I spend time thinking about 20 or 25 years ago, I also spend a whole lot of time asking myself "What on earth was I thinking?"

Beautiful post :)

[Mrs G]

oh...p.s.

and I think the answer was "most of the time I wasn't"...[very big grin without a trace of remorse]

[Cece Grimes]

Well, I think you look just the same and SOUND just the same...that's how I finally figured out we lived across the hall from each other. You still have your own personal sense of style! Gotta love the baby's breath in your hair!

Now, who is this Chandra and why was she looking for me at Art and Soul???

Cece

[katie]

i clearly see the beautiful young girl in the today's you...the eyes are definately wiser now. beautiful photos nina. don't you just love when these serendipidous events occur?!

[Holly]

What a wonderful photo. The young you looks very much like the beautiful actress, Maggie Gyllenhaal.

[Jennifer C.]

Isn't it crazy and cool at the same time that you can look back and see something in yourself you weren't even sure was there? I do that sometimes...looking back. It's wistful, bittersweet...

You have always been beautiful!

[eb]

oh my god Nina! - I am so deeply in love with your soul and your sweet sweet ageless beauty - I did a piece about this as well - a while back - we are from that same rich and patchouli saturated vintage -
altho my son is 11...
heart rock on!!!!!!!!!!!

xox - eb.

[Bonnie]

You always bring back such wondeful memories for us to share.
That girl is still there Nina....she just hasn't had time until now to reflect on those dreams.

Bonnie