Oh! Miss Nina! I was temporarily struck dumb at the ethereal beauty of this post. I am so nearly close to tears. You have the power to enrapture us with your words, letting them entwine our beings. Today I told my network group that Words Have Power {I, too, am fond of weaving words and quotes into my work}. And the snippets from Shakespeare tear through my heart like the stars shooting through the midnight sky. But the words that mean the most to me of yours seem so vastly out of reach with my own experience and that is why my eyes brim over at the thought...you most certainly do have the best job in the world, my dear....and although I don't, I can't {oh how I long for it!}...I can but dream {and plot and plan}. You so eloquently bring that dream {for us all} to life. And if one can make it happen perhaps that is the hope perching on my shoulder, goading me on. I am ever so glad that you do what you do and especially that you dare to bare your soul and your art for all of us to witness. Truly uplifting and inspiring.
"I was directed to your blog as I too just lost my beloved dog companion. I echo your words and feelings of loss and in the amazing consolation of strangers in the blog world. We do what we have to do in this life, right or wrong. I was with my dog when he died and watched his life leave his eyes. He was at that moment alone by my side in a natural moment of his life. We are left never really alone although very conscious of the empty spaces that can never be filled with anything but sweet memory."
"Nina,
Someone may have already sent this to you. Last year around this time our Sasha almost 15 left us - the evening skies of the day she left we saw a shooting star - we all knew it was Sasha letting us know all was well & it was her time to be free! Tears come even now as I write this. Someone sent me this poem which helped through the morning so I pass it on to you. Asilomar - a magical place to spend time and heal your soul.
blessings of love,
Robin
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown... "
I have started this note so many times and then for whatever reason, never hit
the "send" but this morning after running your blog - I just sit here feeling
"ah" and just so loving the visit that I just had to let you know what your blog
( you) mean to me.
I start my morning out with coffee mug in hand and head to my little room that I
like to call "my studio" and there I write morning pages, and then do some work
in my art journal - then I'm awake enough to visit with you.
Finding your blog and meeting you has meant so much to me. I always leave filled
to the brim with happiness, inspired and a deep appreciation. I wish I could
find the words, like you do, to express what I feel. I feel in my heart I have
met a kindred spirit and friend.
I just had to let you know what visiting with you means to me, and this morning
I would be happy just walking in your yard...
Enjoy your day, give Aspen a pat for me, and now I will have a much better day,
knowing that I have spoken to you. Thank you for being there.....
"I check in on your lovely blog as often as I can, but did not expect the heartfelt connection I found today. My oldest daughter has not left yet, but as she prepares to go off to college next year, I feel the panic, sadness, gut wrenching turmoil in the pit of my stomach and painful heartache of the thought of her leaving. I am at the same time so proud of her - her accomplishments and the person she is becoming. I am excited and feel anxious with anticipation of who she will become once out there flying with her own wings and navigating her own course. I sobbed and sobbed as I read your words, tears just flowed down my cheeks (at work!) Thank you for sharing so purely. I felt your words penetrate my heart. I am encouraged that you and others have gone through it, are surviving, still have so much beauty and love within, and are sharing that love and beauty with others. Thank you so much."
"I completely agree with you about the allure of words on jewelry. I don't know of anyone who creates more beautiful objects that epitomize this concept. I come back to your blog day after day knowing I will see something amazingly beautiful. Thank you so much for bringing so much beauty into our world."
"I'm wearing these [cloud song] earrings today. I usually don't dress that creatively for work, more prosaically, with simple non-danglies. So I just discovered I can see them in my peripheral vision as I walk. I like that. I should wear more danglies. Life lately has been too much practicality: forms to fill out, official documents to decipher, task lists to update, errands to run, get a Plan B, Plan C, even a Plan D. ... These are challenging times indeed. I'm hoping to carve out a few hours this weekend at my studio table, playing with my collections. I haven't even had many moments lately to peruse your lovely Web site and drink in its charm. But when I do dip in, I always emerge refreshed. So this is just to say thanks ever so much for being there. You have no idea of how many lives you brighten!"
"Dear Nina- Upon seeing your work in Somerset (blog issue), and reading your words (I envy your poetic verbage & expression), I soon went to your blog and became a fan. When time allows (or is stolen by me), I often return there because I passionately admire your artistic style and feel as though I have taken a delightful journey into an enchanting, charming, ethereal world familiar from my childhood after reading your entries which are so beautifully enhanced with your photography. You should know that you are a giver. We come away with gifts from time spent with you. After reading your glowing affirmations about your sister Ellen's eggs, the third time I visited her Etsy shop I decided I must have one of the robin's eggs, I just MUST, so I ordered one - and a good thing too, for it was the last one. They put me in touch with the past when I was a little girl, entering into deep places that the soft, sky-blue beauty of a found robin's egg could draw me to. Nature displays the holy beauty of God if we will just take the time to perceive it and touch it. I, too, am a woman in her 50s who also has two grown sons -- and I also love and live in the "woods" (well, if you can call 2-3 acres of wooded land in the country "The Woods"). I loved reading about your father, your mother, your visit back home with them, and your love for your sister Ellen. I hope that you will share about your sons in future postings. And pleeeeeease don't think we will ever tire of seeing and hearing about the dog! LOVE that dog! After omitting paragraphs for the sake of saving space in this entry, I will close with trying to convince you that your heart, your art, your photography, your words, your openness and all that you share with the world is a worthy gift to us. You are a beautiful person, and I thank you."
"i am not an artist such as you, but i have been a student in one of your classes. you have the abillity to inspire and motivate because you let it be fun; because you make it look easy; because there really is no right or wrong, good or bad; because you allow us to feel and respond based on our own individual experiences... what you're really teaching is how to step outside the box and be comfortable there; how to use the skills you've taught us and apply them to what we want to do. i see it as much the same as when teachers teach writing skills...we teach the skill; the process...but each individual chooses his or her own words. i guess what i'm trying to say is that one of the first lessons i learned from you was that art is based on your own individuality...we begin with a blank canvas, so to speak, and with each experience and personal preference, the art is born. it may change, but the root of it remains the same. it's ok for you to be a part of that, but the bulk of what each person's art is depends on what's inside of them. it's ok for us to use the skills and the process, i think, but we have to put our own words to it...use our own canvas...have our own style of expression. i suppose it is sad when one who calls themself an artist has to rely on the ideas and style of others rather than what's inside of them. that tells me there is fear inside and they haven't yet learned what you teach...that it's ok to step outside the box and let your own art speak for what's inside you. you do that masterfully...you show us, through what you do, an outside expression of what is inside of you...and no one else has what is inside of you."
"I have spent the past two evenings reading your blog. Just felt like I wanted to talk to you for a moment. I so enjoyed my time in your world which you share so sweetly. Although I am not nearly as positive, open, kind and loving as you are, I do feel a definite comradeship in your love of solitude, nature and reflection. Although I get somewhat nauseated by some of the overly sweet, la-la, life is great type blogs, your positivity and sweetness are very endearing - and your frankness about the sad things is touching. I got as far as your October time with your folks and your comment about wondering why you share these things about your daddy...and I just wanted to send you a hug. Virtual hug from a stranger who wants to thank you for that sharing and try to take away some of that pain. And another big virtual hug for your precious puppy.
Also love your art. Have seen your things in some of my magazines and books which is where I found your site a long time ago but never went in to read. I piddle around with altered books, jewelry and other such things - that artistic outlet is the best part of my life. And the only time I am ever REALLY happy and at peace with my life is when I am outside, in nature, talking to trees and birds. My best conversations and relationships are with trees...and dead poets, too."
"quietly she tinkers.
indeed.
but the song of her tinkering ways
is clear and pure
and resonates...loudly,
deeply
and surely it hovers by hope
perching there
in the soul.
beautiful.
your work is, too..."
"oh i do love white camellias
such pure white against those magnificent
shiny leaves
love is pure like that
the love of years
in your fathers hands
such tender photos
you are so lucky to have the presence of
mind to capture these moments as they unfold
and then you share
thank you so much
for the time you take with us out here
i know there is an interconnectedness
between us all
you continually prove it"
"I am proud of you for protecting your integrity. You will find better
venues. People will come to you. You have to always
take care of yourself--your psyche is important. Not to be violated.
I know that you did the right thing. It had to be difficult, but it
was an important forward moving change that will serve you well."
"may all truth and love reside within you and become an invisible blanket of protection when any negativity tries to enter your church of kindness"
"I think you have almost reached the Third Noble Truth of Buddhism; cultivating a mind so spacious that you are going beyond what things seem to be into what you truly see. When you care about things, you see with a responsive and involved eye. Do you know how little you have struggled this week? I can see this in the eye of your camera.
Why is it that people are bored when rain becomes a mirror to see into and words in books shimmer?"
"Nina, I always read your blog as it seems a good way to hear your voice and learn from you. I wanted to tell you that your photos are as stunningly beautiful as your jewelry and your words. You have the true eye of an artist."
"For me visiting your blog is like going to a friend's house for a cup of tea and conversation- I've seen her driveway, house, foyer, kitchen, face so often but in all of that is love, friendship, and inspiration. Its about you! It is a virtual cup of tea with a friend."
"Congratulations on this momentous occasion in your country's history. This change that has occurred in the minds of your people is noted around the world. The greatest men in your history had the qualities that this man has ~ his mysticism, charisma, stillness, and idealisim is what I personally see. He makes me believe in his sincerity. With a positive outlook, unified effort, and shared vision you can do anything as a people. It is these American qualities that allow each of you to do good, to do the right thing, ~ and what makes you a great nation ~ not a win-at-all-costs mentality, not power held over weaker nations, not greed or arrogance, but strength in unity and a common dream."
"You really made me reflect on my life. I don't want to disappear either, and I often wonder why I was put on this earth. Am I just here to take up space for awhile?? There has to be more that this! Of course with my Baptist upbringing....I don't worry about when my life is over, but what about this one chance that I have.......I don't think that I will age gracefully, I am sure that I will fight it to the end. I have too many things that I want to do.... I still have a long list of places that I want to travel to. How I wish I hadn't wasted so many precious moments. Do you think that we ever have enough time during our life......I wanted to see our children grow, get married, and have a family....but now I want to see my grandchildren grow up and I wonder what they will do with their lives....will I ever have enough time ????Thank you for making me rethink what I will do with the rest of my life.....
Nina, I also want to thank you so much for your sharing your teaching talent with me, please don't ever quit teaching. I loved your class, and could hardly wait to get home so that I can start something else. I know that I wasn't very productive in your class, not your fault.....I just get so overstimulated, I need to ponder what to do next. When my husband was driving us home ( it's about 16 hours) I was rethinking my necklace and I found a wonderful piece of sliced jade. I am going to rework this piece, it needs to reflect what I learned from you.....after all this is what I will leave behind so that my children and grandchildren can remember me, I don't want to disappear!!!"
"Most people have a hard time seeing the blessings in what is right next to them, the grass is always greener syndrome. My father grew roses when I was growing up, so we always had bouquets of them in our house. To me they always seemed like a mundane thing--can you imagine, a rose, an everyday flower! Now that I am grown, moved away, now that my dad has died and the rose bushes are all gone do I understand the wonder of them. It is rare the person who appreciates the here, the now. That is why I love your blog so much. You are a constant reminder to me to appreciate what is all around me right now."
I have spent a very long time being professional and efficient, so my writing tends to say that which needs to be said in a very sparse way. I really enjoy that your writing reflects your heart and soul.
I hope it doesn't sound sycophantic to say that whilst some people don't really measure up when you meet them, that's not the case with you. I first did a class with you in Freemantle and then started reading your blog. The blog measures up to you!
I think leaving ourselves open to new ideas, nature and people also leaves us vulnerable and open to self doubt at times. The good thing is that it doesn't take much to give us a shot in the arm, so we can bounce back.
"i'm turning forty in six months, which is kind of a shock to me. i am looking at your poetic, beautiful jewelry and reading your inspiring, thoughtful posts and screwing up my courage to step into my power to do all that i want to do.
this email is to tell you hello, and to let you know that you are 100% right to tell your blog audience what is right and what is wrong regardless of their reaction. there will always be small, mean people who will attack you no matter what. it is hard to callous yourself to them, but please try. know that there are people who appreciate you and your art. you are a very special person and you deserve all the joy and respect in the world."
"I love your blog, your jewelry, and how you write about your reality. Not just fluff. You let us "see" you, and that makes us feel like we live next door. Thank you.. xo"
"you and the way you view the world is what i have felt we have lost...the ritual, the story telling around the fire/at the dinner table/on the front porch, being in the wild, honoring the past (and present)...i think if we all took it to a deeper level than the surface we stay on so often, we would see what attracts us all to you and each other is not your art (although that is precious)...it is our Souls wanting to talk...thanks for listening to me!!"
human beings are members of a whole
in creation of one Essence and Soul -
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain -
If you have no sympathy for human pain
The name of human you cannot retain --Saadi
-it would be more helpful if we sat with our reactions when others are speaking their truth in their personal journals and simply listen with compassion...i have learned a lesson from all of this...thank you Nina for being honest with your pain...it serves those of us who want to be better humans...xo
i just wanted to tell you how much you inspire me to be a better person. every day when i read your blog, i think, oh, i am going to be more like that: more observant, more loving, more 'living with my eyes wide open', more crafted in my writing. and while i still feel like i am mostly not achieving that, i know that if i keep reading and being inspired, it will slowly seep into me. so thank you.
from accomplished artist Judy Wise (thank you judy xo): "IMO you and Teesha pioneered
the "look" of the mixed media/journal/collage thing that is strongly
influencing advertising, graphic arts, and fine arts in this country,
providing jobs for many teachers of art and enriching the lives of
housewives and square pegs. I thought of this when Rauchenberg passed;
he was a "real person" just as yourself who had a huge influence on the
culture.
I know you have had your heart broken at times by the copiers but there
is another side to it. Original good ideas will always find their way
into the culture through co-option and adaptation (and stealing). Think
about it."
from Belgium: "While I'm mailing you now, I want to say that I admire your work a lot. I discovered you in "true colors" and through some articles in the magazines of Stampington.
I love the "Nina-knot" and your work is really recognizable and an own style. But I guess I'm not the only one who told you this...."
"Coming here is like going back home and visiting with loved ones-those who take us as we are-vulnerabilites, faults and all. Words leave you effortlessly and enter us for what they are-honest, unpretentious, alive, and vulnerable. The end result is for us like savoring our mother's favorite dish after being sick-we feel comforted, understood, cared for."
"your jewelry is turning into a divine light...."
"It is wonderful to share the ineffable qualities that arise from the experiences of one who has walked from the outer periphery of this beautiful life straight to the center, the pulsing heart of existence."
BEAUTIFUL...just beautiful. This art leaves me breathless. When I first read of an "alchemist", as a child, I was aching to meet one and converse and watch the magic happen. And now I have, Nina. Your work is extraordinary."
i posted yesterday, maybe you saw it - maybe you didn't. i've heard from a good many of you privately, asking where the post went. the answer? i vaporized the thing. after spending all that time writing and loading photos and looking up wikipedia definitions for a particular color, i obliterated it. don't ask me why, because today i'm not exactly sure, except to say i felt that most of you were probably as sick of blue as i am and wanted to move on to something else. i don't like depression, particularly when it stems not from what is stirring inside of me but as a direct result of what is stirring outside, around. one thing that i've learned at the ripe age of 51 is that i don't want to spend my days in such a fit of worry about what someone else might think or how they might respond to honest feelings i might have; i don't want drama, i don't want conflict, and i most assuredly don't want unhappiness or displeasure that sprouts from trying to do what is best, but not what is best for myself. enough. enough! 
i am fairly sure at this middle age of who and what i am, of the decisions i make, of opinions i have. and have them, i do. and express them, i will. i've learned not to discuss politics on this site or with my folks, i've learned when to stand back and let a crisis mend itself, when to hold on and when to let go. sometimes i don't do it early enough and the unfortunate fall out is dire. i'm learning now that sometimes, no matter how hard i try to make things right, to clear the air, it isn't enough, and that i need to stop shaking the dust into the air. i need to let it settle, and i'm learning this only now. i've learned to gauge myself when a conflict arises; i've learned to process my emotions, to know them, to embrace them, and i've grown to assess more often than not when i am wrong and when i am right. sometimes there is no right or wrong - sometimes there is simply a difference of opinion. 
there are many things to acknowledge, to appreciate, to see, that had i not slowed down in my steps and looked closely with a keen, inquiring eye, would have gone entirely unnoticed. sometimes what i see, in all simplicity, is merely the way a shadow happens to fall across my view. the other day, for another simple instance, while walking out back with aspen i spotted two slender strands of crumpled metal christmas tree tinsel, hidden under the brown dried leaves of winter. they made me smile, and brought pleasant memories - but no pining (do pardon the unintentional pun). things like this greatly matter to me, and to express the fact that they matter is paramount.
YES! YES! YES!
and the poem speaks volumes to me also...Thank you for always being TRUE to yourself and your spirit. It is an inspiration to all who visit here.
Artfully Yours
Pattie
Posted by: patricia | March 13, 2008 at 12:50 PM
All I can say is WOW what a poignant poem! Thought provoking post. Thank you for your words. No matter what your mood may be, somebody out there shares it....and that's why we keep coming back! Love you!
Posted by: Chris | March 13, 2008 at 01:15 PM
Nina - you are an amazing woman and artist. I've enjoyed your blog without comment until now. I saw an installment of American Experience with Joni Mitchell where they talked about her and her incredible talent and all the struggles she encountered on her journey and she simply said "Without the demons there would be no angels" As I'm writing this a pair of cardinals are flitting in the tree outside...spring
Posted by: Jean Zoss | March 13, 2008 at 01:16 PM
AAAhhhhhh yes.......gravity.
Posted by: Cindy In Carolina | March 13, 2008 at 01:28 PM
I saw yesterday's post and I saw it gone today. I thought hhmmm, maybe she just didn't want it out there. Why can't we all just be who we want to be, and accept eachother for who we are? Why must we explain ourselves away on these blogs. I let someone do that to me. I put myself out there and someone got offended and a war ensued. So I started a new blog and barely told anybody about it so I could just be me. But I've always got that little voice back in my head saying don't write that, don't be that open, don't offend. My hats off to you, be you!!!!
Posted by: Adrienne | March 13, 2008 at 01:39 PM
Nina,this post makes me like you even more.
You are luminous in all your transparency. And I am always learning with you about "being" now and not later,you precious soul.
Posted by: Isabel | March 13, 2008 at 01:55 PM
Too often I'm prone to follow the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald: "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." Still, I'm getting better with age, learning to lament the past a little less and concentrate on the present a little more. Spring will make it easier for us. (I'm glad you're enjoying Kathleen Norris. Makes me want to sit in the middle of the Dakota prairie and just look and listen.)
Posted by: Brian | March 13, 2008 at 03:06 PM
I loved this post. I know so many women 'of a certain age' who are finally accepting themselves as they are, accepting life as it is and loving every minute they are given. My moment yesterday was the faint sound of some dried leaves left over on a tree, moving against each other during a slight breeze. To stand there and listen with all my heart in the quiet was reward enough for the day.
Posted by: Penny | March 13, 2008 at 04:30 PM
All I can say about this post is "AMEN, GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!"
Posted by: Emily | March 13, 2008 at 04:32 PM
And so it is.
And so it will be.
And so you must be.
And so you most dearly ARE.
Posted by: herhimnbryn | March 13, 2008 at 04:36 PM
I missed yesterday's post but every word here....well said.
Mostly I just tell people who have a problem with who I am to put on their big girl panties and deal with it.
- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife
Posted by: Suzanne - The Farmer's Wife | March 13, 2008 at 06:57 PM
Lucky me for I did see your post yesterday. I thought your post was thought provoking...and I wasn't tired of the blue. Your honesty and true feelings woven in your words are what make your blog so wonderful...so real. The good...the bad and believe me I have never read anything here that was bad. See you at ArtFest.
Posted by: Lisa | March 13, 2008 at 08:01 PM
What a thought provoking post. It speaks volumes to us all, which is why I love reading your blog. Your an amazingly talented women.
Posted by: terri | March 13, 2008 at 10:06 PM
I send you many things from my heart, from far across this continent, not the least of which is a wee wry smile, an outstretched hand, oh and a fistful of fresh cut iris (just starting to bloom here). so many of your words, well, they just Are, so many of your words just are, for me. Oh, and I wasn't tired of the blue, and was sad for just a brief moment when I discovered that all the lovely blue symbols were, poof, gone, but there are always more, blues and symbols that is...
Posted by: Liz | March 13, 2008 at 10:56 PM
honey-you could not pay me to be twenty. for all the reasons you list above. i love the personal growth and wisdom that comes from being in the "middle ages". the greatest gift is to know oneself and to be true to it. i used to give up my opinions to please others(usually men). no longer. if being honest means being alone-then so be it. i will not live a lie. i cherish my time alone and cannot imagine having anyone in my life just to banish loneliness.
Posted by: posypusher | March 13, 2008 at 11:31 PM
It is a wonderful thing to know oneself! Thanks for sharing these thoughts (and the ones from yesterday) here for me to ponder.
Posted by: Cindy Ericsson | March 14, 2008 at 12:05 AM
Thank god you can express being blue. What would we do if we just kept it all inside - go crazy that's what! I feel so much freedom in expressing ALL of my feelings on my blog - it makes me feel better - helps me heal - reading about your blue periods makes me feel like I am not the only one - it gives me hope. I want to connect with what is real and all that means - I love you blue, red, pink, and green.
Posted by: gina armfield | March 14, 2008 at 12:19 AM
Babe, so glad you're back,..( Blue, Shmoo, POO, Thank-You teacher! :-) ) This post reminds me of a Quote Jeanine Payer uses in her work on her piece 'Dale',
"Out beyond ideas, of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."-Rumi
I am also reminded of a reference used so many times in speaking of my Mother, and now myself, I'm afraid,.. ..'What she lacked in tact, she made up for in frankness'. We have learned 'to be true to ourselves' in these 50 years, and that is good... LYLT, Hol
Posted by: hol | March 14, 2008 at 12:36 AM
That was a lovely post. Thank you. The poem was a welcome gift, Nina. Soon I will be going back to my parents home to help them prepare to move. I also need/want to spend time with my dear old Dad, so I can say goodbye. He's dying of cancer and I hope that living in the "now", as you do, will allow me to appreciate being in their midst just a little while longer - together. (He's 84 and Mum's 88). Keep on doing what you do, you do it so well. You have the bravest of hearts to share yourself so openly. I admire you for that, and draw strength from your words.
Posted by: Jan | March 14, 2008 at 12:55 AM
Nina,
I have to say that I get all tingly with excitement when I see that there is a new post from you on my Reader. I am a frightfully shy woman, so it always amazes me when I see someone who is so open and honest about themselves with people; many of whom are complete strangers. Please don't ever think that your willingness to let people REALLY see you as anything but a positive and admirable character trait. Those qualities are something that I have struggled with my entire life, and as I keep moving forward wth this life I hope to become more like you, and just let it all out there without the fear of judgement and the "notgoodenoughitis" that is always lurking in the back of my mind.
Posted by: Michelle Leray | March 14, 2008 at 09:10 AM
Nina
I read the Blue post and loved it. I am doing research for a show my guild is doing called The Blues. I'm just sorry your post is not in your archives as I found it insightful for my research. Guess I now have to look some of your references up =-)
The poem is lovely. Hope you have some yellow spring sunshine this weekend. There are ever so tiny green shoots poking up in my yard and I will think of you as I stop to examine each one.
Joei
Rhode Island
Posted by: Joei | March 14, 2008 at 10:02 AM
Hi. Just thought I'd say hi.
Posted by: T2 | March 14, 2008 at 10:55 AM
I wanted to return and leave an additional comment because the first one seemed a little flippant.
You should be assured how important it is to be transparent when you're feeling the need, and how important it is for others to read and identify with your mood. Depression and "blue" gain strength in the dark, when kept hidden and unacknowledged. When we bring it out and turn it over in our hands and discuss it with others it seems to lose a bit of it's power. And in talking (especially internally) come to a better understanding.
I speak out about depression whenever and whereve I can, simply because I want others to recognize the signs and seek a road out. Why? Because I didn't. Because I denied the blue, pushed the blue back until it gained a power I never knew could exist. If you deal with each piece of it you won't be forced to deal with the tsunami of blue, which in my case involved 5 yrs. of therapy.
Some people will take issue with transparency, sharing and openess. I perfectly understand their sense of privacy but the truth is that openess and honestly is always the best path.
What I see in your writing can be summed up in one word - authentic. It's a quality that people are willing to walk through broken glass to obtain. Treasure it.
The fact that you obliterate the post has lead to a very interesting exchange of ideas. So in the end, it was a good thing.
- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife
Posted by: Suzanne - The Farmer's Wife | March 14, 2008 at 11:50 AM
thank you
i'm on the same path lately too...
it never fails that you find just the right words when i need them
i wish i had more words for YOU...just know that you are not alone
Posted by: Stephanie T. | March 14, 2008 at 02:21 PM
Nina, I can't start my day without reading your posts...and I did get to see yesterday's. You always make me feel ok about being me. Your fans all love you no matter what color you're feeling.
Posted by: Paula | March 14, 2008 at 05:26 PM
(((Nina))), my experience is that to give you must first open the door to your heart, and in doing so, so often it is trampled. I appreciate when you share because it helps me realise what I go through is life, I am not 'the only one' or 'the most picked on'. Thank you.
Posted by: Julie H | March 15, 2008 at 01:09 AM
I know that feeling so well. A sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach followed by a few flickflacks, worrying that I have exposed too much of myself whether its in a blog or just a comment. I am so grateful for your openess. I think we who return to your blog day after day, can relate to everything you write. Have a great weekend with your folks and "see" you when you get back.
Posted by: Robyn | March 15, 2008 at 06:41 AM
Nina, I read this while at work yesterday and had to get up from my computer and go sit in the bathroom for a bit. Must have needed a good cry.
I started a photo project at my blog:
http://herablehands.com/2008/03/13/the-able-hands-photo-project/
with a flickr pool:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/ablehands/
and wonder if you would be willing to contribute a photo or more? I just linked to this post on the page I set up for the project and am building a gallery of photos for that page from the flickr pool or from emailed images
http://herablehands.com/able-hands-photo-project/
anyway, thank you a thousand times for this and so many of your posts. You remind me to have courage, to breathe, to be still, to dive in. thank you, thank you.
Posted by: K | March 15, 2008 at 08:25 AM
sorry, that's Kelly. Not sure why it cut off the rest of my name. : )
Posted by: Kelly | March 15, 2008 at 08:26 AM
Missed the post that seems to have been ephemeral, like early spring flowers... I have personally been experiencing a winter of discontent, and am longing for spring, but with some trepidation - the world seems to also be going through a very difficult transition right now and I'm trying not to be afraid. I agree that our 50's bring many benefits, but as I just turned 59, I see that there are always more layers of the onion to peel; we never are "done." And I become more aware of our need to connect with each other the older I get. And sometimes it's very scarey and very hard.....
Posted by: Ann | March 15, 2008 at 10:29 AM
I, too, love the age I am (58) and wouldn't go back for anything. I try not to look back, I try to focus on the now and the good and the little things I tend to miss (like the forest for the trees....). Loved your comments and felt a real connection reading your words today. Thanks for giving me something to reflect on while I'm in airport transit purgatory.
Posted by: Mchele | March 15, 2008 at 04:17 PM
I, too, love the age I am (58) and wouldn't go back for anything. I try not to look back---I try to focus on the now and the good and the little things I tend to miss (like the forest for the trees....). Loved your comments and felt a real connection reading your words today. Thanks for giving me something to reflect on while I'm in airport transit purgatory.
Posted by: Michele | March 15, 2008 at 04:18 PM
You are a diamond my dear. And the fact that you are so upfront makes it easier to mine your rare beauty. I thank you for sharing your self with all who come across your path. It is a lovely gift to "know" you.
Cannot WAIT to see your face in PT. Just the thought of which makes me smile!
Posted by: alex s | March 15, 2008 at 07:57 PM
As comment no. 34, I just want to say I love your words, all of them, even the ones you want to take back, because you give others permission to be normal too. And tough titty to those who don't get you. What, there must be about five of them in all (I'm guessing here), and when you think that there are around 6 billion people in the world, then I think your average is pretty good, don't ya think! I love ya girl, love it all. From the Maori warrior girl in Aotearoa.
Posted by: rachelle | March 16, 2008 at 04:34 AM
I once heard Cheryl Wheeler, the folk singer, tell a story about how her depression led her to seek help of a psychiatrist. She ended up taking Prozac and writing songs about it. One of the songs was hilarious, "is it Prozac or is it peace?" She said it turned out to be peace. And she said, "The new puppy likes ME best!" Today we are adopting dog #3. I think dogs are the best medicine! Hugs to you. AND Peace! Pam
Posted by: Pamela Overmier | March 16, 2008 at 11:52 AM
Nina..it's rare that I send emails to a total stranger (I just know you from Somerset magazines thru the years)but I simply HAD to. When I picked up Somerset LIFE and read the wonderful article about you, there was this "pull" to get onto your typepad and get to know you. I'm glad I did. I'm 58, live in a very small community in Colorado, and in the last year (with the complete support from my exceptional hubby) I have altered, collaged, and painted things that I never thought I could. What is it about this time of life? As a pretty structured woman, to be able to feel "free" to create is a wonder to me for sure. I have always stopped to admire the beauty around me (I live in a glorious state), but lately there seems to be new depth to my sight. You are yet another inspiration to me and I have put you in my "favorites" so I can call upon you when I need a little tweak of creativity. I have SO much to learn....bring it on!
Jan D
Posted by: Jan D | March 17, 2008 at 09:58 AM
I think it is such a comfortable place to be..to know yourself and be ok with it..and ok the be by yourself and enjoy every minute of it.
Posted by: distressingdelilah | March 17, 2008 at 10:31 AM
Have been away from computers for almost 5 days and just now catching up. Thank God for women like you, whom so many of us can relate to regarding life issues, relationships, thoughts, dreams, our identities, where we are now in life and how we are accepting it, etc. I love you for who you are and for being out there for us and being willing to be so transparent. It means A LOT! Thank you.
Posted by: Vickie | March 17, 2008 at 10:47 AM
hope you have a great time away...i have missed so much recently...hope you are well....hugs and happy st. paddy's day...rebecca
Posted by: Cre8Tiva | March 17, 2008 at 01:01 PM
Thank you for this post. Thank you for that poem (which I will share with others).
I fall into 'the depths of despair' (as Anne of Green Gables called it) more than I'd like to. And though I admit that when I get into that place my art suffers, my life suffers, and I suffer, sometimes we just need to let it be and get through it naturally. Let the feelings wash over us instead of trying to hurry it along.
I know you'll find your way, as most of do in time, and things will start to fall into place again. It may be an hour or two, a day or two, or even a week, but it will come.
Though I don't always comment I do enjoy reading about your day to day activities, your artful life, and I do love seeing your photographs. Though we've never met or spoken, I feel as if we're kindred spirits in a way, as we seem to have so much in common.
Enjoy your time at the cabin. I hope that you come back refreshed and rejuvenated.
Posted by: Carole | March 17, 2008 at 04:15 PM