fifty five things

it's that time of year again, and here i am counting years and making a list.  nothing in order, not all goals, not all good, not all bad - simply a stream of consciousness list that i've written as soon as it comes to mind.  i hope i'll make many more like this for a lot more of beautiful octobers to come, but who's to say?

1. i'm feeling physically so, so, so much older these days.
2. the colors this autumn seem to be more vibrant than i remember in years past.
3. when the wind blows bright red and yellow leaves from the trees and into the air, they remind me of fluttery little prayers that have been given the gift of flight.  off they go, a million hopes and earnest dreams, no longer restrained.  beautiful.
4. i am very poor at following through with plans to educate, to better, myself. 
5. i want to learn to flyfish, in the mountain wilderness.
6. i want to learn to kayak in calm and quiet waters.
7. i want to learn to knit, and to do it well.
8. i want to learn tai chi, so this arthritic body will not be so rigid or locked.
9. i want to live where it isn't a major ordeal to take a class or two.
10. i want to live where i will feel safe once again.
11. i want a bigger studio.
12. i'm tired of feeling isolated and alone.
13. i miss my daddy.
14. i don't believe that he is entirely gone.
15. i baked myself a beautiful carrot cake yesterday.
16. i love having walter, and most of the time his energy, in my life.
17. i am eternally grateful for the mountains that surround me.
18. i want my art to remain original and fresh.
19. i want to write a book.
20. i don't know where to begin.
21. i wish for a canon rebel.
22. i wish for snowshoes, (size 40, if you are serious).
23. i look forward to deep snow.
24. i look forward to long and quiet winter nights.
25. i love the crunch of dry leaves under my feet.
26. i love the nutty smell of the woods in october.
27. i remain true.  i always will.
28. my favorite cookies are the almond ones i make.
29. my favorite meal is sushi with my boys in downtown asheville.
30. my favorite color is sunset.
31. my favorite word for today is contemplate.
32. i love to smell the rain.
33. i am a voracious reader.
34. my favorite author is anthony doerr.
35. other favorites are north carolina mountain authors ron rash and charles frazier.
36. i still have a burning desire to create.  this pleases me.
37. i  love the magic hour.
38. i am very, very good at a few things, lousy at many more.
39. the number 444, or 44, shows up with alarming regularity in my life.
40. i loathe football.
41. i feel spiritually attached to the countries of australia and new zealand.
42. i wish i knew how to play the piano or guitar, and to play either one very well.
43. i wish i knew how to paint.
44. see what i mean?
45. i'd like to have more order in my life.
46. one day i'd love to live in a house with a library.
47. i want to live in a cottage that is blue, or buttery yellow.
48. "You Are My Sunshine" always makes me cry.
49. i love my boys more than i ever thought possible.
50. i've been blessed to know and love my parents as much as anyone possibly could.
51. lucky me, i have a wonderful sister.
52. i miss my brother ben.
53. i'm more tired than i can say of dental bills.
54. i am worthy.
55. i am deeply loved.

and here is the recipe for the cake, per susan's request from down under - xo:

World's Best Carrot Cake

   There are many wonderful carrot cakes, but this one, from
Creative Ideas for Living magazine, lives up to its name.
Published in Recipe Quest on July 7, 1993.

   1 1/2 cups whole-wheat flour.
   2/3   cup all-purpose flour.
   2     teaspoons each: baking soda and ground cinnamon.
   1/2   teaspoon each: salt and nutmeg.
   1/4   teaspoon ginger.
   1     cup each: granulated sugar, firmly packed brown sugar and
         buttermilk.
   3/4   cup vegetable oil.
   4     eggs.
   1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract.
   1     (1-pound) bag carrots, peeled and grated.
   1     (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained.
   1     cup each: chopped walnuts and flaked coconut.
   1/2   cup raisins.
         Cream Cheese Frosting (recipe follows).
         Marzipan carrots (optional).

   Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 3 (8-inch-round) cake pans
and line the bottoms with wax paper. Grease and flour wax
paper.
   Combine flours, soda, cinnamon, salt, nutmeg and ginger in a
medium-size bowl; set aside. Combine sugars, buttermilk, oil,
eggs and vanilla in large bowl; stir until all ingredients are
well-blended. Add flour mixture to buttermilk mixture along
with carrots, pineapple, walnuts, coconut and raisins,
stirring just until well-blended.
   Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 minutes, or until a
wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pans
10 minutes; loosen cake layers from edges of pans with a sharp
knife and invert onto wire racks. Peel off wax paper and cool
completely.
   Spread frosting between layers and on top and sides of cake.
Garnish with marzipan carrots. Cover and refrigerate overnight
before cutting.

   Cream Cheese Frosting

   1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened.
   1   (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened.
   1   (16-ounce) package powdered sugar.
   2   teaspoons grated orange rind.
   1   teaspoon vanilla extract.

   Combine butter and cream cheese in large mixing bowl; beat
until light and fluffy. Add sugar, orange rind and vanilla,
mixing well. Makes enough frosting for 1 (3-layer) cake.

Comments

[Sabrina]

happy birthday! may all good things come to you in abundance!

[Renate]

Wishing you a most Happy Birthday, dearest Nina! May your days be blessed with health, happiness, continued inspiration and much love. So I wish for you...

[Megan]

Bestest birthday wishes to you NIna.
Sorry I cant share a piece of that yummy carrot cake. Spring is here downunder, glorious greens in my neck of the woods and a gentle breeze. It doesnt get much better than that. Mx

[sue]

Happy birthday Beautiful Nina!

Wishing you all of the things you wish for yourself xo

[robyn]

Happy Birthday dear Nina. May all your wishes come true.

[herhimnbryn]

Happy Birhtday from one Libran to another ( I'm on the 1/10), no wonder we connected, even though it was for a couple of hours several years ago!

carrot cake is the best cake, especially with cream cheese.

I made a list recently on one of my birthdays, they are useful aren't they?

Onwards dear one, and as Helena Roosevelt said (I think) 'Do one thing every day that scares you!' xoxo

[herhimnbryn]

ps wanna share the carrot cake recipe? ;)

[Anna Maria]

I am amazed at how many points in that list I have in common with you: 1,4,8,9,10,12,13,14,21,25,26,33,37,42,54,55.
Thanks for writing my list for me!
I guess we both love some things about the place in which we live, but should both be living somewhere else to achieve some of the items on the list. Don't know what the solution is....
Happy Birthday sweet one.

[Deborah Guthrie]

Just a warm simple Happy Birthday coming your way. You have inspired me for years with your wonderful blog and your list is wonderful to share and see so much of one's self in it. Have a wonderful day, year, life.
P.S. I have a wee home and just this year I got rid of what would have been a living room/library and stuffed the T.V. and couch in the computer room which is actually quite cozy and made one full library room with a table at which I instruct art when I'm lucky enough to have some students. The library room is magic and makes my day when I sit in it and journal and it's nothing special except wall to wall books. Yum.

[Dinahsoar]

We were in Blowing Rock and Valley Crucis last week and the leaves were BEAUTIFUL. I love NC.

Your home on Firefly road is beautiful but feeling safe is more important I think. I was home alone when our house was broken into, in the middle of the night-- and I never felt safe in that house again. We sold it and moved.

I see the numbers 11:11 all the time, have done for quite a few years now.

I hope all your wishes are fulfilled.

[Carolyn]

Happy Birthday Nina! I hope you have a Lovely Birthday!

Carolyn

[Michelle Shopped]

happy birthday, nina! i hadn't been to your blog in ages, checked in yesterday, then checked your fb and noticed today's your birthday! what are the odds??! have a glorious wondrous day -- at 53 i'm right behind you sister! and still looking forward to a class with you someday! xo
patricia

[gina armfield]

Happiest of New Beginnings and Birthdays! As I read the list - which I love by the way - it strikes me that all things on it are attainable - put them out there sister and they can come true. Wishing you were closer so I could lend you a book, take you to sushi, teach you to paint, and share a glass of wine at the magic hour! xxoo g

[susan]

Wishing you a happy, happy birthday, dear Nina! And I hope the year ahead is more settled and peaceful for you.
I love your list. Next month I will make my own list of 59 things.
So very happy that you are home again and enjoying these slower-paced autumn days.

xo dusan

[Mary]

You share so much beauty in your blog. I hope your birthday is filled with the same.

[Delila]

you truly are loved and cherished Nina dear. happy magical birthday dear friend!!! <3

[Mary G.]

Happy birthday to you, dear Nina! wishing you a wonderous year to come, and many more.

Interesting list . . . looks like there may be some changes in your life this year.

Thanks for the carrot cake recipe.

[gigi]

Happy Birthday Nina. So happy to have you back (blog-wise) ;-)

[missy]

Happy Birthday,Nina!! I would be happy to teach you to paint.....have a studio.....if you ever get to northwest Louisiana just come on over.....this is an open invitation!!
missy from the bayou :)
ps thanks for all that you share....
gosh my list will be 60 soon!!

[Lesley Riley]

Happy Birthday my dear friend. I can't believe it's been 10 years. We are aging well and getting wiser with each year. Love you. xox

[Hope Amen]

Happy Birthday Nina....it is your new year! May you get your hearts desires!

[Hazel]

I finally realized that 55 things + carrot cake = your birthday! Happy day to you!!! And thanks for sharing your list and your cake (recipe ;-)).

[Sue]

Happy Birthday Nina!...may you have the best day ever.

[Lori Burek]

Happy You Are Here Another Year and It Starts All Over Again Today Day! What wonderful thoughts. Wish you could have all your friends and loved ones with you on you birthday. I may have a cupcake in your honor!
May this year be filled with new insights and creative days! Hugs, Lori B.

[kathy dorfer]

Happy Birthday Nina !!! may you have a wonderful day . i too love carrot cake .
i love your list ...
i too love learning and i have learned a lot from you .
xxoo
kathyd

[Chris Oliveira]

Happy birthday Nina! Thank you for all that you share on this blog. I wish you many beautiful and peaceful, easy days ahead.

[Emily]

Wishing you the very best birthday ever!
I also have many things in common with you.
Some are numbers 8,28,40,43,and 46.

[Julie Whitmore]

Hey birthday girl

I knew that carrot cake would kick serious behind when I saw the pineapple in there.
and the coconut.
A butter yellow house, and knitting classes and a sushi restaurant close by, I don't think its too much to ask......a place like that would have to have the most wonderful old library too.
lots of love and happy birthday
julie

[Denise S.]

Well I've got the snowshoes for you, but theres a catch you have to come here and visit me and Ernest to pick them up. Have a great Birthday darlin and I'm lovin your glasses.

[Mommie4five]

Happy Birthday! Good health and happiness to you and your family.

[mary]

Happy Birthday Nina! May the Lord bless you with many more healthy and happy years.

How I love your list. Filled to the brim with wishes and gratitude; what every birthday should bring.

[herhimnbryn]

Thanks for the recipe, it will be copied and into my recipe book. It will be known as The Nina Cake! xo

[Barbara]

Toasting you, Estrella Nina, with my glass of cabernet (it has a mermaid painted on it ... my mom-in-law sent it to me out of the blue). One big thing we have in common is the 444! Such a great thumbs up from the Universe, eh?

Happy, happy Birthday ;-0

[Tina in McLeansville]

oh to have a magic wand that could make wishes and dreams come true. happy birthday dear friend! much love....xoxo

[Lisa B.]

Dearest Nina,
I hope you are having a lovely Birthday!!!
Filled with yummy treats, laughter and time for you!
Xoxoxo and Hugs

[Lori Paximadis]

Happy, happy birthday, Nina. (((((hugs)))))

[Monica]

Happy happy Birthday Nina!

I love your list and it's inspiring me to create one for my upcoming birthday next month...

Thank you for sharing your cake recipe - I will have to try it out as it gets cooler here in LA...IF it ever gets cool here! ;)

[Jane Bumar]

Best of birthdays, beautiful art friend. I too cry when I hear You Are My Sunshine. I cried too, or as you put it, became verklemft at class with you at Artfest, as I was touched by your patient and encouraging teachings. I cry just thinking about the mountains of the great state of North Carolina. I have heard it is extra luminous this fall. With you in spirit, and wishing you the happiest tears and grace for this birthday and many more.

[Kate]

Just found your blog through Superhero Journal. The dreams/goals in your stream of consciousness list remind me so much of my own! Keep going and growing. I hope you had the happiest of birthdays!

[Cindy In Carolina]

My whole house is a wreck. Asheville is a great place to take some classes. Fiber show at Ag center this weekend if you need a fibery (wool) fix. There will be knitting classes and such.

[missy in houston by way of galveston]

you may feel old and tired but you still look like a goddess!

[sandra]

At least you have energy to do the list...your spirit is youthful...

[tracey]

Hi: another Libra here :) just found your blog through Jody's blog, very nice! I love it when I find bloggers that write interesting posts!

[Jamie V]

Happy, Happy Birthday, Dearest Nina! What a terrific list you made! I think that if you ever want to learn to fly fish you must come to Montana - we have some of the best fly fishing streams in the world - plus beautiful mountains! I would be glad to assist you!
Jamie V

[Jamie V]

PS - I also cry when I hear "You Are My Sunshine"

[Linda Byrd]

Well, I love this list, Nina. My Dad is gone but not entirely so, too. Occasionally I'll have a dream that he is in my garden, watering my poor neglected flowers. I don't think they are ever really gone from us.

[Andea]

happy happy birthday! sorry i missed it but glad i checked in now to wish you well. i still pop in occasionally to read your beautiful words. if you ever write a book i will buy it!

[Leah in NC]

Happy Birthday, Nina! May you have a wonderful year!