quieter days

  walter turned three years old yesterday, and i'm reminded again of how quickly the days and the weeks and months and years pass us by.  it was on walter's second birthday last year when i said my final goodbyes to beloved daddy, chin and voice trembling as i fought back the tears, and his last words to me as he looked me straight in the eye were for me not to worry, i would be fine, and that he loved me so much, so very very much.  somehow i managed to walk out of that room and drive the six hours back to firefly road,  to a house that had once again been burgled and left wide open to the rest of the world.  i picked up those pieces, packed my bags all over again, and headed across the state to wilmington a few days later for roy's college graduation.  daddy died the next day, and after the graduation ceremony i spent another twelve hours driving an unending stretch of interstate to get myself back down to alabama.  a lot followed after that - my scramble in vain to meet workshop proposal deadlines two weeks later, a trip across the world to reunite with treasured friends for a workshop in beloved australia (one of these days i'll share those stories and images with you), a week in new zealand with more close friends-turned-family, then a final settling down back home as summer drifted by.  yesterday's celebration with walter seemed to be another rite of passage, another way to mark may 6.  thank goodness for that - for the rituals of life, of death, and everything in between.  we went to the river yesterday, walter and i, and his birthday treat was a rollicking swim and stick toss in the waters of the beloved oconaluftee. 
the cherokee believed that "going to waters" brought great healing and spiritual cleansing; it is enough for me to stand at the edge of that beautiful river while walter plays, and listen to its voice as it rushes past on its way to the sea.*  i stand at the water and listen to the rushing, i listen to birdsong, i listen to the breezes in the newly green branches of overhanging trees.  water.  how often it moves my heart, my spirit, my soul.
you'll probably remember the bits of smooth pebbles and broken, weathered shells that i pocketed while walking at the beach a couple of weeks ago; i walked along that water's edge, barefoot in the sand, and remembered the last time that i'd let those waters wash over my feet, a year ago.  when i came home, remember? i discovered that one of the shell shards was a worn angel's wing, something i'd not seen until i dropped the pieces into a pottery bowl.  seldom do i take the time to make a piece of jewelry for myself, but for this i've fashioned a string of oddly shaped pearls with the wing as its focal piece.  the wing comes off, if i wish, but i love that it will now hang with pearls from a knob where i can see it every day - an incredible talisman, an incredible gift that quietly presented itself, from the sea.  it came from the waters, where memory washed its healing balms over me.  xo

 *for an eloquent passage concerning going to waters, go here for a sample reading from Thirteen Moons, a very powerful novel i just finished for the second time.

Comments

[Tina in McLeansville]

quiet mountain days, a river in which to dunk your feet, the sun smiling on your shoulder, memories to keep us company and the endless affection and devotion of your furry love...as if that was the little world inside a water globe. your dad is most assuredly looking in now and again...smiling, i think. here's to quieter days, dear friend. hugs...xo

[V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios]

what an emotional, heart-rending year. tumultuous times make us appreciate the quiet, uneventful spaces in our lives so much more.

[vickie]

Happy Birthday, Walter! Wishing you both peace, happiness and fruitful hunting.
vickie in kc

[delila]

so many things remind me of you Nina. today while i was gardening blackbird was singing on a nearby tree and i was thinking of you.

such a beautiful piece of jewelry.

at the moment i am reading Wild Hares and Hummingbirds, the natural history of an English village. which i bought from the Kew gardens.

[Martha Smith]

Happy Birthday, Walter. I loved this post. I, too find the waters, especially the ocean, to be a source of healing. Enjoy Walter and your wonderful gifts.
Martha

[Mary G.]

Beautiful pictures. Beautiful words. How fast time rushes by -- I remember your posts about the events you mentioned as if they were yesterday. It brings tears to my eyes. What a lovely piece of jewelry you have created for yourself! Best wishes to you, as always.

[carol]

lovely post Nina.....makes me want to move to a mountain in N.C........the pictures of Walter are great....handsome boy.....

[Sharron]

Going to waters, yes, that's a need and a comfort I well understand.
And don't the last lines on the page of thirteen moons you shared say it all about this remembrance day... xo

[rachelle]

Your words evoke reverence in me. Reverence at the love between a father and daughter, and the memories you have, reverence for the stream the playful pup gambols in, and reverence for your beautiful work and words this morning. x

[susan]

Such a bittersweet post, Nina. Your words brought tears to my eyes, remembering last year and how difficult it was for you. But that last conversation with your daddy is something you will forever cherish in your heart.
And Walter - it seems like only yesterday you brought him home - and what a time the two of you had, adapting to each other!
And I love your angel wing necklace - it's beautiful and you deserve it.

xo dusan

[Norma]

I love this post Nina. I'm so full of joy that you discovered the wing for yourself for your own jewellery. Very blessed piece. Walter, you chose good (if one somehow gets a say about who one's partner is, that is)! I toss precious words to winds headed your way. May you never get burgled again! *smiles* Norma

[Carol Weiler]

Oh what a year you have had and yet you have still such a strong spirit and such beautiful words. You are so deserving of that sweet pup and that beautiful jewelry- so glad you are keeping it for yourself.

[Monica]

Thank you for the reminder of the healing power of WATER and NATURE and the importance of annual rituals...they are very important as touchstones in our lives, especially when Life deals a bad hand with loss accompanied with grief.

I am glad you created such a beautiful piece of jewelry for yourself Nina - you deserve to surround yourself every single day, as do we all!

[tracey]

I have been moving my girl child back home from college, but I wanted to finally let you know that I got your package and have worn "Sweet Prayer" every moment (except sleeping) since I opened the package! It is beyond fabulous and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!
A tiny package is on it's way to you, nothing fancy, but things that reminded me of you when I was shopping for treasures for my own work. I'll keep my eyes opened, I am doing a lot of looking for special things these days!
My dad has been gone for 19 years this October, and I pause every year on that date and miss him terribly. Even after all these years, I think about him every single day. May your memories of your dad grow sweeter and less painful as the years pass, he will forever be with you...... like a sweet prayer :)
xo

[Sandy]

Nina,

Your new piece is just lovely. How very odd, I just picked up a copy of Thirteen Moons today at the bookstore. I am going on a small trip and bought the book to keep me company. I am glad to hear that I have made a good choice.

[sandra]

Someway earth mother provides a cleansing for us through tears, springs and rain.
Thank you for the reminder to never forget tHis.

[Minnie]

So glad you are keeping this piece for you. Just amazing. An angel shed her wing for you to find. Xxoo

[Kathryn Stripling Byer]

Such beautiful work and words, Nina, and so uplifting, energizing and just plain fun to spend time with you yesterday. The necklaces in the post are beyond compare. Whenever I wear my "Dreams have shadows too" , I must take it off to pass around. People want to see it up close. Even the young check out man at Publix in Winder, Ga., on my last trip home!
We will gather together our workshop dreams and make them come true.

[Chris Oliveira]

Nina, it's hard to believe it has been a year since you lost your precious Father. I love that you marked the day by celebrating Walter's life. I bet he would have loved that too.
Blessings to you, and to him, and to Walter!

[delila]

i am thinking of you today dear Nina! I hope you can find still comfort and joy from it. love and hugs.

[Deryn Mentock]

Wow, Nina...this is a beautiful piece and such a very good one for you to keep for yourself. "Under His wings you will find refuge."

[Penny]

I havent been reading blogs for a while, now I am on holidays, but this post , well on May 6th this year we lost a grandson aged 17 in a boating accident near where we are now, they didnt find him Suddenly it ha brought it all rushing back.We hope to see where it happened. I need to see where it happened.
Sorry, this is a bit disjointed but I couldnt belive it was the same dat.