week three

1.  i stayed up deep into the night on tuesday, stumbled around the house until after 1am, and woke on wednesday feeling relieved and elated about this country's election.  now,  i hold my breath and then i exhale hope.

2.  i'm still not feeling free of the weight of the world.  i am still worrying incessantly about what i'll do from week to week to bring food to the table, electricity to the lamps.  but yes, i have a roof over my head.  i still do, while others tragically do not.  this roof keeps out the rain and holds the warmth, and one day, it kept out the snow.

3.  i know i do better when i have the laughter of a friend to blanket me.  i'm used to handling being alone much better than being in the company of someone, anyone, but lately those tendencies have been reversed.

4.  night is still my salvation.  i relish sundown, and let the quiet of the dark outside my window be a form of gentle meditation.

5.  i continue to walk the river several times a week.  yesterday, we walked in the rain.  we were the only ones on the trail, and i could feel the fine drops dampening my hair, my face; i savored this.

6.  i have dreamed of my father twice this week.  i miss him even more than i had realized in my waking hours.

7.  i dreamed of my old pup aspen, who is likely running boyish circles around my father in some beautiful sunlit meadow.

8.  i've slept the past two nights without waking a single time.  i've slept the sleep of someone who lays her head down on a pillow and drifts off without once turning over until the light of morning comes.

9.  into my back pocket, at the river's edge, i continue to collect smooth stones; i favor the ones that are smooth and curved on the sides, flat underneath.  they are my water-worn talismans.  i will do with them what any nature-loving artist would do; i tuck them away and carry them back to this house, where they patiently rest in collective little piles.

10.  kindness and patience with/for myself is what i am striving to achieve.  xo

 

Comments

[Denise S.]

Onward we all go and love the rocks

[Tina M.]

i love this, your peaceful life. you have been granted such a gift of that place, both the one you walk and the one you feel. your angels check in every so often, you know....just to make sure. hugs...xo

[Mary K]

wishing you peace, love, and the wisdom
that comes with the solitude. The collection of stones is beautiful.!

[Jacky Mcfarlane]

congrats on elections. thoughts are with you

[Katrina]

Sleep is good. In our dreams we often find peace and inspiration, and sometimes pointers towards our future. Big changes are coming, for you, for all of us. They will be positive if we are positive. Let this be your breathing space. Rest, breathe, do the things that make you feel good, remember that downtime is dream time, it will help you to fill the cup again. All will be well. Love and hugs.

[Lori Anderson]

I haven't been here in so long! I've missed it. And what do I see but my favorite heart-shaped rocks you find -- I'm still looking!

[Diane]

oh nina, life is constant management... or not.
i hear you oh so clearly.

[Laura]

pay special attention to your dreams...maybe your father is trying to tell you something.
take care and know that you are loved. i'm here if you want to talk.
love & blessings
~*~

[Jamie V]

Thinking of you! xo Jamie V in MT

[Ilene Harris]

Just checking in on you. With love...

[Farmlady]

You have come so far from long ago, in a good direction, to being a complete being of light and understanding.
I like this person.
Know that you are valuable, Nina, and gifted... and good.

I miss my father too, sweetie.

[Wojd]

Rocks in the sky ;)

[Lauri]

Dear Nina, you are making your way forward in such wonderful ways. It isn't easy, this life we go thru, but as you gather strength from complete rest at night, you can harness that and channel it into your days with more creativity. I live at the opposite side of the state (NC) from you, (Albemarle Sound area) and I gather shells and twigs, where you gather stones from the river. These are our greetings from nature, and with each one a gift. I know you will use the stones and your rest time for absolute good. Love to you dear.

[Michele Unger]

XO

[Vickie]

I am glad to hear these words from you. To read the loving words of your father and of Aspen...I remember when you would write of both..and posted pictures of both. I don't believe the weight of the world ever goes completely away..it may lessen, or we may find ways to manage it better..like river walks with dogs and finding stones..but we're all in it together. Wishing you peace and joy.
vickie in kc

[susan]

River walks and sleep are good things.
I happy you are feeling better, Nina.

dusan xo

[sandra]

Wishing you find the connection you want...

Just wondering if one of your sons can hook you up with the app called "skype" on a smart phone or your computer.

Ask them the next time you talk to them. If they can hook you up, you'd be able for free to talk long distance and see who you're talking to at the same time.

[gloria]

Thanks for sharing with us such deep feelings. I do hope putting them out there for us to read makes you feel better. It does me feel better. So thanks again.