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Bonnie

Oh wow Nina, what thoughts you shared today. I too would like to get off of antidepressants but I am chicken. I was never 'sad' in the first place but was so lethargic. The Dr. thought I needed to be on them. Well I am still that way(lethargic/lazy) and I am as happy as if I had good sense so I think it is time to get off of them. I think I am just old!! I clearly was either born lazy or something else is going on.

I am so happy you have your shy Ben and your gregarious Walter. We will certainly be thinking of you when you take 'some quiet time' but remember we are out here and we love you. xoxo

martha

I am glad to see you are back at it. I agree with Ben, you should continue to write. It seems to do you good, and it certainly gives me something amazing to witness. And it gives me hope.

Thank you Nina, for sharing yourself. I am so happy for you and your new beginning.

Jenny

Nina - the crucial thing to remember is that this is YOUR blog. If people dont want to hear, or are uncomfortable with your sharing of personal, emotional content...they dont have to read. No one is forcing them. You should write if and when you want to, need to. And as you are in a period of change...you are weaning yourself from meds, do you need upheaval in your writing too? I think not, keep it for you, for the peace it brings you, for the chance to work things out on "paper".

Please do share with us through your work!We know it comes from a transformative and exciting place right now, and the images will speak to us, if you choose to use fewer words. In the end, trust your intuition. Do what is right for YOU!

Lennie

I agree with Jenny, just above. It is YOUR blog, not ours. We are along for the ride, surely, but we made that choice and we surrender to your desires. Write often, write less; we will be here to read and to share and to smile no matter what. Each day you will know in your heart if it is a day of writing for the world to see or writing for just yourself to see. Or maybe a day to write nothing. Those happen too. And take care of yourself please...lots of sleep, lots of healthy good things to eat.

Ann

Man, sometimes I think you're making all this up - it's like a fairy tale!
I've been taking antidepressants for such a long time, too, and am afraid to stop. Last time I did I got so sick. So I just try not to think about it....
And I want "nascent" to be MY word! I want some miracles, too. But it sure seems like you'd been doing the groundwork for quite a while.
And that Walter is so, so, so cute. One of the most frustrating things about puppettes is that they're too wild to let you snuggle them.
Anyway, I'm happy for you and inspired by your fairy tale come true!

Emanda

Hello Nina,

I love being invited into your world by your words, but I am not calling the shots, you are. We will miss you if you decide to only write once a week, we will read you everyday if you write it. We love you, don't you know that?

Now, I'm going to say this and others might be upset with me, but here goes: "Why get off the meds if they are working for you?" I thank heavens for my "better living through chemisty" in my own little world.

Again, this is your life -- you have embraced it and we are thankful you share.

oxoxo

Emanda

Roberta

Nina...it's your blog and your life so live it to the fullest! It's great news from the doctor and that you both feel it's time to be med free...another great benefit of being off "anti-deps", as we call them in my family, is your "libido" will pick up...yeah baby! Love to you and Ben, fondly, Roberta

herhimnbryn

Deat One,
Your blog, your writing, your choice.
But, I thank you for sharing your happiness, indeed I do.

Last week I posted an image of a gum blossom over at my place. I forgot to tell you that when I found the flower, I'd thought of several people who would enjoy it's beauty, you were one of those people.

herhimnbryn

That would be deaR one!

Tina in McLeansville

oh dear nina...this "story of you" has been, for some of us, an escape from our own stories for a while...like sinking into a good book so deeply that the house could burn down around you and you'd never know. write when you want, when you feel, when you have something to say...or not....it is all about choices. i found a journal entry of my own recently...from january of this year...and i read my very own words about choices. make the ones that are best for you, because you always always have a choice, i said...and it's true, you do always have a choice...and it is your life to choose, no one else's. reading through that journal seems to have opened my eyes as if i'd been sleeping for months. in this place, you've been wonderful enough to invite us to take a peek and share parts of your life, and that is a gift not to be taken for granted on our part....but in the end, you choose. i agree with the comments above, especially "take care of yourself please" and "do what is right for you"....absolutely. every day. xoxo

anna maria

I imagine it is difficult and frightening to go off anti-depressants, but probably exciting as well. As if you need excitement at this time ;-)

I wish you moral and physical strength (even more than what you obviously already have)for this new journey on which you are embarking!

Kelly

Oh Nina, how brave, how blessed!

gigi

Beautiful post. Love the "suspendered bens."

Karen Cannon

Dear Nina,
As I see it, we are all "invited" to come over and play and if you choose to invite us only once a week...then that's when we will come over! I just love getting the invitation...no matter when it comes!

XO Karen

Patty

You are very generous with your experiences. You'll never know how many
of us out here reading are going through the
same things. When to stop anti-depressants is
an individual decision-they Do
save lives. But we all wonder about timing
and it makes me relax to know I'm not alone
in that. Thank you for being so real and
imperfectly, beautifully human!

Sue

Nina,

I look forward to each chapter and am grateful that you chose to share all that you do. Each post encourages me to examine my own story and savor the moments in my life. Your writing is moving and important and I think you should give thought to publishing what you write. A beautiful book filled with your writing and pictures would be inspiring to many.

carol

Dear Nina.....reading your blog makes me realize.....again....how we are all connected.....i am an artist also and have had to deal with the depths of my emotions my whole life.....i chose not to take medication, but many times i wondered if i had made the right choice......no matter what we do....it seems as if there is a price to pay.....I truly believe that the human spirit(?) psyche(?) will overide any medication and eventually create another problem of sorts.....life is a roller coaster........have you ever read care of the soul by thomas moore....in that book(or one of his others) he talks about depression in a way that no one else has......that it is natural and has its messages.....a mystery for us to figure out.....soul searching.......every one is different....I have no answers, but I truly believe you are a very strong woman and a beautiful one also....in many ways.......you will figure it all out......isn't it wonderful to be alive and have all of a sudden out of the blue new things to think about........your a poet.....you will be able to alchemize it all..........with love.......carol

Emily

Nina,
Your blog is like a good book, and to me a good book is one where I miss the characters when I am finished reading. And so my vote is what Ben suggests...do not stop writing!! It seems to be so therapeutic for you right now. I know it is for me!! Might be just what you need as you wean yourself off your meds! We all respect your decision, but for those of us who tune in each day just know, you will be missed!! We are interested, or we would not be here!! Go gentle and take care of yourself during this transition and listen to your doctor!!! And listen to Ben, of course.

Farmlady

Sometimes you are so fragile that it frightens me. I see it in your jewelry, your writing and in your relationships. Please take care of yourself and have your doctor monitor your progress without the meds. Remember that life will bring sadness as well as happiness and finding a balance is sometimes difficult. Make sure that Nina is protected by her own true self and not by other's admirations. Take care my nascent friend..., you are so much more than "a parcel of vain strivings."

Lee W.- The Way I See It

You have an amazing set of gifts- your writing, your jewelry, YOU. Please don't stop writing. I enjoy your style. Reading about Ben makes me happy for you and Ben. I am on my second marriage too, and even after 8 years together, I am astounded at the depth of my love for my husband. And reading about Ben somehow reminds me how happy I am. I love that 2 more people in this world, plus a dog, are happy.

As for the meds, I took an anti-anxiety med for about 1.5 years after my second son was born. Being an older mom is hard- not that being a mom is ever easy. I suffer more from anxiety that depression, but the down side of being wired is crying every day. A few months ago, I felt it was time to wean off, and I can say the weaning itself was WORSE than any anxiety I had before. I just kept at it, knowing is was a side effect. It took about 2 weeks for me. I am medication free now, and I am happy. There are hard days, and anxious days, but not days and days of crying. And in the end, it is my husband I turn to. My mate, my soul mate, who listens and calms me. Did I mention that I am a nurse too? I love modern medicine, but for me, it was time to try NOT being on anything. My family said the same things- why go off it if you feel OK? Because I don't want to take medicine every day. The most offensive thing was my mom, who said "you need to be on it". I just looked at her and said- no I don't. And this was after being medication free for about a month. If I ever feel that way again, I will go back on it. It helped me become happier and healthier. But for now, I'm OK. And I know that no matter what, you will be too- on it or off it. HUGS

debi

The Universe sends us signs all the time. There it was. Ben. A heart. Who knew it was whispering your future?

wendy  NZ

These are wise words by Hugh Prather which i think sum of some of what you are feeling.......
All i want to do, need to do, is stay in rhythm with myself, all i want is to do what i do and not try to do what i don;t do. Just do what i do, just keep pace with myself. Just be what i will be. I will be what i will be, but i am now what i am and here is where i will spend my energy. I need all my energy to be what i am today. Today i will work in rhythm with myself and not with what i should be. And to work in rhythm with myself i must keep tuned to myself. There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to teach.
To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me, rather i recognize that i live now and only now, and i will do what i want to do this moment and not what i decided was best for me yesterday...........

mansuetude

you're just beautiful... that's all that is ever wrong with you!

does that make sense?
xo

breathe fully; it will bring calm .

Lori Reed

I just feel you're about to cross the threshold into a really marvelous space that ten years ago you couldn't even dream existed! You have a caring, wonderful man to take your hand and walk with you into that new space and a loving puppy ready to follow and share in the new life opening up. Trust your heart, Nina!

Penny

I can only imagine, in beautiful dreams, the jewelry that will come from your hands during this oh so wonderful (and I know - frightening) time in your life. Pull out all the stops and bring beauty to life.

Teri Mahl

Nina--I am not feeling well at this time but your blog helps to cheer me and give me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Oh--the rock with the face in ti! I have one too and will have to share it with you once I am able to do a post. My mental acuity is at its lowest and I can't seem to concentrate. Thanks for the heart-felt thoughts.

Kelly Jeanette

Oh, Nina, please don't stop writing. Your blog is the first I read and I enjoy feeling your happiness. And I love your jewelry.

You are very brave to mention the anti-depressants. Our society has such a stigma for people who take them, not really understanding what some of us go through. My doctor has been after me to start some, but I'm trying a holistic approach first.

xoxoxo, Kelly Jeanette

Roban

You are so honest with your feelings.... It looks like you've touched a lot of people with this post. Your joy for life and those you love nearly leaps off the page! I'm so glad you've found a happiness that was missing in your life, and I'm also glad that you're sharing your journey with us....

P.S. Since we share life with polka-dotted puppies, I thought I would tell you that I searched and searched for my breakfast the other morning (I could smell it... thought my husband had prepared it... but nothing to be found.....) That evening I figured it out. Maggie had absconded with MY breakfast! The little bugger.

Carol

dear nina
continue on your triumphant journey
the unexpected is often the best

and
thank you for sharing your lifes ups and downs with us

you give hope to us all

Michelle

I, too, struggle with anxiety and depression...I considered meds years ago but believed that, for me, it was best to allow God to be my "anti-depressant". And so far so good. This doesn't mean that I don't have bad moments..days...weeks...yes, even months...but God is always there...guiding me toward that light you speak of. Even in the dark there is always Light at the end of the tunnel. And I find that those ups and downs..ins and outs...the times when I feel unraveled and exposed...are the times that I learn the most about who I am and what I am truly made of. I hope this shift in medication allows you the same...xoxoxox

ps..I love the photo of you and ben...cutest couple award!

Paula

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Suzanne Lee

Please don't stop writing. This romance has become the highlight of my day. It's almost like a soap opera episode that you rush home from wherever you are to catch!!!
Also, more jewelry, please. I love it.

Renate

You are so very brave to share yourself so openly. I love what you do and what you are! And I can't help but think: nascent was truly the word...

Judy Merrill-Smith

Sometimes we don't know what we're thinking until we write it down. Keep writing, Nina! (hugs to you!)

Naomi

I am so honored Nina that you share your heart with us all, it is a brave thing to do.

Do give yourself the gift of happiness, you deserve it.

Lise Peeples

Sweet Nina, here is my favorite Rumi quote,"...then comes a moment of feeling the wings you've grown, lifting..." Those wings of yours are surely lifting.
blessings, LiseP

sue

I read your post with tears in my eyes, how beautiful. I admire so much the way you are able to write so openly (I am a 'bottle-it-all-up' kind of girl myself!).

Keep writing - but only if you want to!, and don't be afraid to enjoy the happiness that has come to you.

Sue xo

Corrine Gilman

You are feeding your soul with this deep courage of yours to heal and fall in love again.

How glorious and how brave that you are willing to share.

Ben is so lucky to have you.

Corrine

Lorraine George

I cannot wait to see these finished pieces...they are truely made with your heart and soul.

Ben IS very lucky to have you!

beccajo

oh i have come off anti-depressants several times and i know how hard it is...if you do choose to take a vacation from writing we have years and years of beautiful photos, insightful reflections, and gorgeous jewelry to look at! and it will make it that much sweeter when you do come back! whichever you choose, know we are all so happy for you!!!!

julie

for me i read your blog through you images, yes the words pull it all together, but to look in your eyes, or walter's eyes, or just to see what surrounds you speaks volumes...just look at the footprint and paw prints beside walter...little things that say so much...x

patricia eaton

On one hand, I can't believe you share so much with us. Then, on the other hand, I believe sharing is very therapeutic. God knows, we ALL need therapy! I don't think it's going to hurt a thing if you share less often for a while...you do what you need to do, and come back to us in October or so. Do what is right for YOU. And, know, dear friend, that we care for you and want the best for you too. October is a glorious month...pat

Denise S in Ottawa

I find your strengh of character and your generosity uplifting. I look forward to your gifts of wisdom and your insights. I love your photography and I thoroughly admire your creativity. Thanks for sharing yourself with us. It ripples across the internet in wonderful, powerful waves.
Cheers, Denise

emris

Since I began reading your words, the thing I most admire about you is your bravery, your willingness to be vulnerable. I read a postsecret once that said "I´m more afraid of being vulnerable then I am of being alone", that is still what stops me from opening up to someone, fear. It really is rather silly when you think of it because we are all so very afraid of each other :-). I try sometimes to get past the fear, I have not yet found the way but as long as I keep trying I know there is hope. I am so very glad that you have found your way, no matter what life may make of it, this time in your life will forever have made you stronger

Cindy Ericsson

Apparently I'm having problems with all things computer -- tried to comment last night & couldn't; today I can't seem to e-mail anyone. (Insert string of bad words here.)

I love the photo of your Ben photos -- it makes my heart smile.

Cheryl K. Bennett

Nina, I love your blog, your words, your peace, your strength. Our lives seem to have ran parallel to each other in experiences.
I would so miss you if you were not writing.

I too, take meds. Doesn't the whole world? Interestingly enough, I started taking meds a couple of months after I moved in with my guy. I had been on my own for 18 years and the adjustment was difficult.
I tried to go off of my meds recently and it really did a number on me. We ended up adding another med and then doubling both. I don't feel as if I am "quite there," but it is better.
You listen to yourself so beautifully. Listen and the knowledge will come.
Sometimes I don't write because I simply do no have anything to say. You'll know.
love & hugs to you,
Cheryl in IN
WHOSYERGURL

kim

I read your blog often. I don't post often. I wanted to say to you that I feel your writing is amazing. I think if you did not write what you feel and from your heart it would not be the same blog. When I read your blog it reminds me that so many of us are the same underneath it all. We all have joy, we all have pain, and we all have struggles to muddle through. Reading your blog helps me to face these things with as much grace and kindness as I can muster, because those are the feelings I have when I read your words. I am so glad that Ben and Walter are in your life right now and I wish you much strength in your upcoming journey. I have also had to wean myself off of depression medication. I think you will do well- you have excellent help and you are a strong woman.

Karen

Dearest Nina, thank you so much for sharing your life and your heart story in your posts. It means so much.

Every morning when I arrive at work, I pick a "Healing" card from the deck I keep safely tucked away in my desk. This morning my card says:

"Embrace the changes in your life. Release what you no longer need, and welcome the seeds of new experience."

Your beautiful words express this message perfectly. One of these days, I hope to sit down with you and share a cup of tea and tell you of the similarities of our life's journeys, my dear friend.

Liza

Words help to solidify what is happening and make it more real. Thats why we read, thats why you write.

Deborah VanDetta

Your bravery and honesty and spirit come through in every post, whether daily, weekly or monthly, I will be thrilled to find some new words of inspiration from you. Your love story is so much better than a soap opera because it's real!

Thank you for sharing about your meds, be careful and take it slow. I wish there was less stigma attached to anti-depressants, more awareness of the huge chemical and environmental changes our bodies and brains haven't yet adapted to. For me, the medication saved my life, but I sometimes miss the manic highs and productivity.

I can't wait to see your new creations, already there has been more joy, more color in your work. Take good care of yourself.

Angela

Dear Nina
You are so incredibly brave! Thank you for sharing your life, your world, your love with us all.
love
Angela

Crescent Rodgers

Dear Nina,

I really enjoy your blog, the poetry of your life and I am happy for you! Keep writing away!

Crescent

Jaliya

Hi, Nina ... I suspect that you write 'cause you can't help it ... Know what I mean? :-)

I am besotted with your Walter -- those eyes!!

Your new love reminds me of my love, when it was new ... 7.5 years ago. We're into that "seven-year-itch" ... a difficult passage ... a sometimes surly counterpoint to the wild trust and amazement of two souls who came together at the least likely time ... just after my mother died ... Several friends wondered if she had something to do with it ...

The pendants are exquisite ... Your choice to wean off the medication slowly is a wise one ... Your man is a gift ... as are you. Enjoy the pearly last days of summer ... xo

Bonnie

I wrote to you yesterday but I came here first thing this morning because I always love to come here FIRST THING!! It makes my day and gives me things to ponder as I go about striving to do my art. I just love it here so much. I am amazed at how much we all have in common.........

I hope you don't stop writing because your blog is the best thing on the internet. For me, it is all the better since your life has become so much richer since becoming a new mommy and finding your Ben. You teach, inspire, give me lots to think about...and I adore your gentle spirit. (Please dear Universe, protect our Nina from the unkind people in the world. We do so love her honesty.)

Gabriela Gaudet

Dear Nina,

We all love coming to this blog to somehow be a part of this journey.Your experiences become a little bit our own, and we delight in your happiness and cry a tear with your dissapointments...As everyone has said, this is your blog, and you should do what you feel you should do...Enjoy every minute you have without worrying about us...

bobbi

Deep connections here...I rarely read others comments, but I read yours because you so obviously connect strongly with your readers (not just me, for sure) and the comments themselves sometimes move me as much as your posts. I'm happy to read and see your posts whenever you feel like writing them...any time...any day...whatever schedule works for you.

Mary

Your writing and photos are captivating. I look forward to reading whatever you want to write, whenever you want to write. I'm so happy to have found an online kindred spirit, an artist, who appreciates beauty, poetry and nature.
Blessings and enjoy! I hope one day I'll find a Ben.

Julie Fredericksen

Dear Nina,

I have noticed that you have replied to almost every comment I've made - if not all of them. I have the feeling that you do this with everyone. How time consuming it must be. Please know that I do not expect replies (though it is thrilling to see your name on incoming e-mail). I am sure most of your readers feel the same way - that you need not automatically write back to them. You have so many readers that it must absorb so much time. I bet they would agree with me that it could be time used to make more jewelry - more money for you, more pleasure for us (and maybe someday I can get a piece too!)

I have been on anti-depressants since my daughter was in grade school so it much be close to 20 years. For me, it is necessary, as otherwise I would not be able to get up off the couch. As other readers said, it is a personal decision - yours and yours alone. Great if you can get along without the meds, no shame if you can't. There is a strong vein of depression running in my family and I saw what it did for those of us who took meds, and those who did not. I choose meds!

I know this is long but one more thing - I have looked for signs to show me that Ben feels the same way about you (aside from spending much time in your company, which is a good sign), but today it was confirmed when you said he believes you are a keeper. Indeed, you are.

Fondly, Julie

Jolene Hardy

Dear Nina,

I have just discovered your blog last week and it has helped me & uplifted my spirit when I was having a horrible flare up of my fibromyglia...I am bipolar and finally got diagnosised correctly about 2 years ago. Great for you if you can be stable without medications!!! That is wonderful! I know that I can't so I take my happy pills daily and now I know that you & I have another bond, depression.

Your writing, pictures have touched my soul, not a lot of people have done that & I truly thank you for it. You have also inspired me to watch for little treasures in my world here in Tucson and thank you.

Gina Cuff

Ben has the most kindest, most gentle eyes, Nina. What a lovely face he has. Wow!

Chandra

hello dear one! I am so so so so happy for you....and for Ben, that lucky guy!! remember the dream I had ages ago that I visited your home and was suprised to find a man there too? I now think of that dream every time I visit here....
xxo

Jeannie

Your words show us that we are not alone in life's journey. Thank you.

martha

It is a truth that the place where we are hurt, the injury, the crack....is where the light comes in. Where we are damaged, is the great gift of healing. It sounds like woo-woo stuff until you realize that it is through the work of making sense of things that we grow into our power.Carry on Nina!

Amy

What a treasure you have in Ben, and he in you.

I have a severe hormonal imbalance that takes a great toll on my psychologically. Extreme mood swings, irrational behavior, long periods of depression... It is something I have lived with for 4 years now, and have struggled with rather desperately. I have never been on medication for it, am frankly a little afraid of the medication (I worked at a mental health clinic for 9 months and heard stories), but you are not alone in this. I am slowly healing, on my own, through expressing myself creatively and taking loads of photos to remind myself that the world is still a beautiful place. You have so much love and support from so many people; I know you will come through this period of change whole.

Joy

I haven't visited for a few days but you're always 'there', like a butterfly fluttering in my peripheral vision... I find myself thinking of you often (in a good way!) And I thank you again for sharing your life with us & miss you when you're away but like others have said, its your blog to do with as YOU please.
I too was on meds for a teeny while after the birth of my second boy but was too scared to stay on it for long. Take care coming off yours, so glad you're allowing Ben to be there for you.
Walter's growing so fast but still looks puppy-like.
(Shall take a step back for awhile as I've been feeling 'flat', like a drink that's lost its fizz & don't want to inadvertently leave some negativity behind.)
xxx

Mary G.

Nina -- Wow. That was quite a post. A rollercoaster of emotion for the writer and the reader, both. I put off posting a comment because I don't know what to say . . . I love reading your blog. But as we all seem to be saying, as much as we would miss your posts during your sabbatical, we want you to take good care of yourself and if you need not to write your blog, OK. We will wait. You have had an amazing year and I thank you for what you have shared of it, and of yourself, with us. As for "brave" -- you feel yourself "vulnerable," "tender," "raw" but I think it IS brave to be that very, very open to the world, trusting that we will treat you with kindness and love. I am so sorry when we don't. Sending you the very bestest of warm wishes for happiness.

nelda ream

Thank you, Nina, for inviting us into your world, whatever it may be at the time. We are enriched by your words. When you share your big heart with us it stretches our hearts to receive it. Perhaps that is why all this love has come back to you, because you first sowed love to us here. So glad you will continue to write. We would miss you terribly. xoxo

Kim Melton

Nina,

You ARE brave because you know how raw it can feel and you just keep sharing your beautiful life! Thank you! Your blog is an addictive, wonderful serial. I treat myself to it because, even despite my anti-depressants, I am often moved to tears by it. Please take the time you need for you, but there would be such an empty place in my life if you stopped writing!

XOXOXOXOX

Kim

Bonnie Moench

Nina

Judt Merrill-Smith wrote " sometimes we don't know what we're thinking until we write it down" ...but I often think sometimes I don't know how I feel until I read what you have written down.....you have a way of expressing yourself that gives me the words to describe an event, a time in my life, a feeling....You dear Nina are the Pied Piper of words.....you make me want to follow you and listen to your wisdom.

Thank you for showing me that it is ok to hurt, to cry, to be vulnerable and then how to recover and start over again.


xoxo
Bonnie

Laura

Dear Nina,
Everything you have been sharing these last few months express so clearly such wonderful changes in your life and your thinking and your feelings! We as readers can SEE the path changing before you and I for one am so excited for you! Having love and openness is such a gift! On a side note, i saw the childhood pix of you and whom I assume is your brother Ben in the circular frame and was struck by the resemblance of him to your own son Roy. Bless you as you follow this new path! Hugs, Laura

Gabriela

Hello Nina,

I guess I am so very lucky to find a wonderful story to read about every time I visit you here...But this time I really enjoyed your incredible story of struggle, victory and love.
And yes, it's a story of hope...for everyone.

Thanks so much for sharing your life with all of us.

Very happy for you!

~ Gabriela ~

rachelle

Depression? Just another reason to love you Nina, please stop, my heart will burst. How human. How normal. How beautiful you are in all your reflections. Communicating so articulately things that scare us all, helping us understand ourselves as well. Making the difficult normal, normal, normal. Because I came to realise that the dark side exists too. I cannot fully appreciate light without an understanding of what dark means. So many good comments, some a bit dodgy. I reckon follow your heart, it's led you well. Feed your spirit. Do what you must. We'll be here waiting when you're ready. I too have recovered from a dark period several years ago. Now I just have the same crazy mental days that normal people have but I do have to watch for the odd pothole! And self-care. And a great husband. And my creativity. And my spiritual needs. And coming here. Peace is a good thing. Bless.

Holly-UK

aww Nina, i'll be sad to miss your posts! I'll really miss them!!!! But i know its up to you, and you just want to spend time with Ben and Walter...and when you post again in september you'll be fresh faced and you'll have so much to share, and your jewellery, and all those wonderful photos and tales to share....so we will all have something to really look forward to reading from you.... we are all thinking of you and sending you lots of love.....Have fun and enjoy yourself! xxxx

Isabel

Do we still have to remind you WHY we are attracted to you, my dear Nina :)
It is how REAL you are! You give a voice to the feelings many of us women have some time or another. Thus the identification.

xox

Isabel

Wise is the man who gives us space to be, not defining us but adding to who we are.
So...kudos to your Ben :)

mary batten

Hi Nina
Well, here I am with a virgin bottle of anit-depressant pills sitting in my medicine cabinet that I haven't started yet. I am having second thoughts about starting on them after reading everyone's comments about how difficult it is to get off them!
I check in every day for your postings and bleed right along with you and rejoice right along with you as well. My mother used to say to me, "such are the vicissitudes of life, Mary." It must take forever to express all that emotion in words and your time is precious, I'm sure.
What might be fun so that we won't feel neglected:) is to pose brief occasional thoughts or questions for us to respond to, mini-"muse" meetings, so to speak. I'm just sayin...
Warm regards
Mary

hatsbykatrinka

Oh, Sweetie! I'm so happy for you. You deserve all the love that comes your way. Enjoy. You give me hope too.
K Q:-)

Jenny

One more thought: http://www.jdaviesreazor.com/blog/work-progress

Emie

I visit your blog at least once a day.... will miss you if you take a break from blogging but will be right here checking for your return. And... you ARE brave!!!
Hugs, Emie

S

I am really surprised your taking in artifical chemicals when your so CONNECTED to nature!!?
GET OFF those addictive nasty pharmaceutical drugs, and your health will imrpove! They mess with your natural brain chemistry! Please, please come off them, they are terrible for your health!!!!

S

oops sorry wrong email address...if you want to email me this is the right one...

Denise S

I have really contemplated writing this time dear Nina.
As a person who knows first hand about depression and the taking of anti-depressant medicine I just wanted to weigh in here.
I have been taking pills for this off and on for over 30 years. Does that make me an expert,no but I certainly do have first hand knowledge about them and side effects and coming off of them. There are those of us who will never,I repeat never,be able to not use some form of help. My own personal view is use them if you need them,get off them if you want to,and for Gods sake don't let anyone else decide this for you.
I figured out a long time ago for me they work and I am getting too old to monkey around with what works and what doesn't.
Try fighting with insurance about this-insurance wanting you to take the cheaper generic and you falling into a black hole to appease them. Never again for this woman I will go without before I take generic again.
Would you give up heart medication,diabetes medicine,high blood pressure pills,I think not.
So darling do what works for Nina and no one else.

Alex s

Brave? You say not.... I say yes. What you actually have (in spades) is heart...which is the meaning of courage! So, okay, we won't say the "b" word, we will just say: you are one of the most courageous people I've ever known. Openess after pain is so difficult...you are a lighthouse. No wider Ben found you... He could see that light from the middle of a distant ocean and followed it. Smart man.

About going off the meds... You go girl! Like the song says: Don't need no doctor filling me up with all those pills ... I got me a man named Doctor Feelgood....

xxoo (and one for Walter)

Alex s

Harrr! I meant "wonder" not "wider.". I know how you hate typos.... This "gotdown" iPhone instant word checker is a pain in my arse!!

(but it does give me the exuse to leave more love xxxxxooooo

kim mailhot

Life is good and you are living it really fully right now. That is inspiring...that gives hope...that is brave and it is open...that is what we are meant to do. That you share bits and pieces of your experiences is also a precious gift you give out, as is the art and love you create and put out into the world.It is good to know you are loved as well as you love, Nina.

Leslie M.

I'm so happy for you Nina!

ruthie

sweet nina - whenever & however you choose to post we are here walking with you. it is an amazing thing love is it not, my own depression had led me for so many years into dead end places. my mr o held out his hand and pulled me back from the brink of that darkness. it is bearable now that i have his love, as i hope it will be for you too x ruthie

amy faldet

Here is something beautiful and strong that I am noticing and I am guessing Ben would attest to... the light that you are finding is the love in your heart. As you open and give love away, even at the risk of feeling lost or getting broken, you let light in and whether you have Ben, or another lovely addition, canine or otherwise your openness raises your spirit. It is true about the softness inside, I wrote once of that same feeling in my journal, but, dear, soft is love. Closed and hard sinks one to the bottom. You are light because you believe in love again. And now, though, if I may be so bold, you would believe in love no matter who is or isn't in your life and that is the sweet life. You write when you like dear, about what you like and know they are not ego as someone must have meanly slipped into your thoughts. Your life is art, as is mine and all who live openly and with trust and love. Take care and I send you sweet wishes.
Amy Sperry Faldet

melanie

I think the best thing I learned from being on antidepressant medication was the feeling that comprises "not depressed." I literally did not know what that was like. Once I went off the meds -- gradually, gradually -- I could recreate the experience of "not depressed" and ever since (ten years or more) I have normal transient sadness -- not chronic sadness and long spells of "got you and now you're going to spiral ever deeper into despair." Sadness comes -- and sadness goes. I am grateful for the power I learned from the medication.

Shirley

Dearest Nina~

Continue to reach for the light that surrounds your very brave, talented. honest ..., LOVED , self.
Perhaps, in part, it is our breaths, all of us here breathing in concert with you , wishing you well that you are feeling.
I certainly hope that it is so.
In the meantime, take the time that you need to get your feet under you as you experience the chemistry adjustment. I pray that you can do without the meds. If you can, great! If not, you'll travel that road when you get to it.
Write when you can...if you can... but please don't stop writing to us. And , take very good care of you and your loved ones, most especially that Ben , who looks and sounds to me like a real keeper. :))
Hugs and comfort, my friend,
Sassi
PS. I love that sweet look in that man's eyes. And the cute haircut.

mansuetude

tip toe... shhh... quiet...
it is so quiet up here...

i miss the poetry and light and warmth and wisdom that falls from this mountain ... shh ... tip toe ... blessings... peace...

:)

kris

I just returned from a music festival where an intimate group of mountain dulcimer players met to play and, as it turned out, talk about their thoughts and feelings. It seemed odd that people felt so comfortable that they could open up and talk about themselves a little. It was such a good feeling to know there was a little safe haven where that could still happen. I don't see it that often. People seem so guarded. You are open and kind to share your thoughts with us. I often visit and read and think, yes, I've felt like that too - it's comforting.
Lovely photos too.

Debra Gibson

Nina, you are a remarkable woman! I love to read your blog so much perhapsbecause I too have been on antidepressants and anxiety medications for a couple of years due to my mothers fight with lung cancer, it's been 2 yrs this past July. I enjoy reading your blog so much , the inspiration, your artful musings and your jewlery I keep coming back because I enjoy YOU! Please keep writing and keep creating, my art is my therapy and I am slowly weaning myself off the anti-depressants with the help of my doc, it's time to get back out into the world and I feel like I am ready! Thank You for being,:)

Karen Owen

Nina, your words help so many people. Don't stop writing - even for a month. I, too, was on antidepressants for years, I guess about 8 or 9. I know I really needed them. I had a lot of hurt over an unfaithful husband, now ex-husband. Over a year ago, I weaned myself off. I had lots of mood swings for a while, but now I'm feeling better than ever. Hang in there!

alex castro ferreira

Hi Nina

Please do continue to write, that's one of the things i most love about you you being so unique. it's so rare! Ben will give you the strengh to let go the pills, it must be scary but you are so couragous and full of LIFE. i'm trying again the fecondation in vitro 3 more chances to go,i'm so scare too as i want to do it of course but during this months of waiting the hope was here now it happens or don't. so please continue to open your heart and i wish you the world. best alex(from lisbon)

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